Tenerife, Canary Islands

Tenerife boasts one of the most pleasant and mildest climates in the world; with the sea as an ever-present background, the most significant feature of the island is the wealth and diversity of its landscapes. Unfortunately, most visitors including myself only get to see the alcohol and vomit strewn pavements of the mass tourist resorts.

Tenerife is the largest and highest island in the archipelago and towers over its neighbours, with the 3718m (12198ft) Pico del Teide surging from its heart. Its barren east coast contrasts starkly with the lush northwest, and the rocky north seems worlds away from the playgrounds of the southwest.

If you can prise yourself from the beaches, you'll uncover an island of surprising geographic diversity, where Spanish traditions dominate and the only other people you'll likely encounter are the locals.



7 Apr 2001 - Tenerife (Playa de las Americas), Canary Islands

This was my second trip to Tenerife's Playa de Las America. Cost considerations and time of year directed me to the Canaries yet again. Although a tacky and down market resort, as a cheap and warm destination the Canaries is always be a good option. Having said that, there are always things to do and see if you have the inclination to get away from dirty chav masses and mass tourism.
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11 Dec 1993 - Tenerife (Playa de las Americas), Canary Islands

My first trip to the Canary's was at the end of the Michaelmas Term in my second year at University. Writing this so long after the event is difficult as my memory is a little hazy but my biggest memory from this trip was the final night when we elected to go out for a nice meal as being students our holiday diet consisted mainly of bread, cheese and ham. It turned out that we would have been better off going out on a bender and regretting it in the morning.

4:30AM and massive stomach pains. The first of many trips to the toilet saw the previous night's meal make a reappearance. This continued half hourly despite my stomach being empty and being empty excludes the mass of yellow bile being ejected - the body always finds more of that. Profuse sweating, retching and diarrhoea continued unabated and I couldn't even hold down water.

10AM came and I was no different, I was worried. We had to get a bus to the airport in an hour and as we hadn't gone for a package holiday that included transfers to the airport we had to walk to the bus stop and get the bus ourselves. What if the bus driver saw my state and refused to let me on?

We got to the bus stop but I couldn't stand up anymore and had to lie on the floor. This didn't disturb the bus driver though and we got on. However, I knew it had been nearly half an hour since I was last sick. My bowls were twisting and my stomach was heaving. I could take no more. Thankfully I had a plastic bag with me and I had to vomit again. Horrible heaving noises emanated from deep within my torso while on a public bus with other passengers. Chris was embarrassed and moved forward a few seats but now, my pain temporarily gone called out to Chris and showed him my swinging bag of bile so people knew he was with me.

After this I managed to keep myself together until we got to the airport. With an ache in my bowl I was so relieved to see the sign for the hombres. Fortunately, the worst was now behind me and the trip back to the UK was spent blissfully asleep catching up on the sleep I had lost that morning.
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